If I had to sum up the series of photos above, it’s that no matter how I am feeling, there is always time for coffee…I will keep this post short, and mainly positive. Yesterday’s post – particularly the highlighted paragraph – pertains to my current situation. Nothing to write home proud to mom about. Ashamed, worried, and nervous. Waiting for the wake up call to come…close friends have reached out to me in the past 24 hours. It’s gut wrenching to receive emails asking to “just eat…anything…something…please.” Today I am trying. Today I am fucking pulling it together, because knowing your battery is on the fritz has a trigger which can’t be expressed. You know when you’re on a road trip, and you’ve almost reached the destination? You see the “Welcome to Blisstonia” sign and begin to think ‘well, guess it’s over.’ But really, the excitement and vitality of your happiness was the voyage, the ride, the in-between, not the conclusion.
Blisstonia…
That’s what this is like for me; I’ve just passed the road sign and am realizing this road trip is coming to a close. I hate that part. I want the journey to continue…
I drink 300 or 400 MGs of caffeine per day, I'm bouncing off the walls, it's the best.
Oh and don't worry, the journey will never end, it just changes forms. I think that's the first law of Journeyo-dynamics. No, but fer realz, when does boring come for good? Never.
How fucking weird is this??? I was JUST starting some "SURPRISE" snail mail for you. Humph. I'm not going to broadcast what I feel about this… I know, shocker, instead will email you.I know you will read both and I don't need you to respond until you wanna… Loves and Hugs.. Ugs
Blisstonia is a goddamned lie:
Meghan:
Crawl out of a warm duvet. Shuffle across a morning-cold floor and jump into the shower. Smile at the shower head for the warm water and the fact it has 12 settings and is detachable. Wash your hair and unwrap a brand new bar of soap. Breathe a secret mantra in the steam to life and endless possibility.
Grab a huge fluffy towel, wrap it around yourself, wipe the steam from the mirror and smile before you brush your teeth. Don't floss, nobody flosses. Bless the morning for its dentists. Fuzzy slippers? Back across the floor and dress, warm cords, wool sweater, wander to the kitchen and Breathe a secret mantra to a filling coffe pot about life and endless possibility.
Brew coffee, make some soup for your thermos. Sit in your favorite chair and draw for a while. Curled up and half-watching the world pass by a window, mail man coming up the drive, leaves crunching under his boots. Smile and bless autumn. Breathe a secret mantra about life and endless possibility
Put on a warm coat, touque and scarf, make sure you're warm. Take your thermos and a pad to draw or write or scribble curlicues of abstractions, smile and bless surrealists. Park or ocean, beach or bistro doesn't matter, empty road, quiet bus stop sit and be. Don't think, just breathe and be, breathe and be, breathe a secret mantra about life and endless possibility.
There are no nightmares here, no holocausts of the soul or battles with the physical. There is you, your art, autumn and a thermos full of soup, nothing else, because only this moment matters. Smile and bless times increments. Breathe a secret mantra about life and endless possibility.
Problems will arise, there will always be challenges, set backs, failures and indignities. There will be seductive paths to oblivion but the only road to bliss I know is to deal with life as it comes, never pass up an opportunity to love and always take a morning with a thermos full of soup, your heart and art and breathe a secret mantra to life and endless possibility because in the end those moments are the ones that are worth living through all this fucking bullshit for. Smile and bless yourself, your life and the people who love you.
With all my love, hope and healing
Adam
It's heart-wrenching to not know what to say. I want you to be alright, I want the world to open it's arms and show you a light so positive you won't be afraid to rush to it – even if it means 3 meals a day. I could say so much more – I already await your email reply. I'm at least glad you are staying strong and fighting through everything.
Much love to you, Ribbony. <3
I'm here for you as long as forever. ^^
Word Swail. I couldn't agree more. Adam, Blisstonia isn't meant to be a downer post. I just am professing that I am not ready to pull off onto the exit is all
Ladies, well, yeah, I am in a dark place but still got my will and spirit to fight it